sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
