So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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