I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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