Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Drake has all the answers
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
