Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
