After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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