no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
