My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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