This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
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