Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
