STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
