Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
