i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize
