So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
