somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Randomize
