dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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