The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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