Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I got inside last night via doggy door
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
