evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
