I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
