What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
