Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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