I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
i may or may not be watching the land before time
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
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