So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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