And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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