left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize