I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
