I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
