nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
