She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Randomize
