ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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