I'm going to jail i love you
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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