I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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