I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
