Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
