So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
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