The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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