I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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