If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Randomize
