I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Randomize
