Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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