Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Randomize