I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
