And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
should my penis look like a turkey
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
