Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
