I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Randomize
