btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Randomize
