I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
