Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
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