Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
