am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
