i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
