But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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