the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Randomize
