DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize