i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
