Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
