super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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