Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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