Don't you send me to vm
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
can u get pink eye on your cock?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
