HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Randomize
