they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
it's like iHOP with fire
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize